tips to confront a cheating spouseConfronting your spouse about their cheating behavior can be a difficult thing to do. In fact, sometimes it can be scary. This is why it is important to be cautious with any confrontation. There are certain steps that should be taken before you ever come to your spouse with your concerns, depending on the situation. Naturally, using our private investigation services is helpful first step.

  1. Make sure you have evidence.
  2. This is a highly recommended first step to take before ever talking to your spouse about cheating. If you do not have solid evidence that your spouse is cheating, he or she will most likely be able to explain your suspicions away, and then they will be able to take steps to ensure you are never able to get any evidence again.

    You can get the evidence you need to confirm whether any suspicions that your spouse is cheating are correct or not. If you hire us to do an investigation, we will be able to provide conclusive evidence that cannot be explained away. This can include irrefutable photo and video evidence.

    Evidence is especially helpful because your suspicions could be wrong. You never want to accuse your spouse of cheating when he or she is innocent.

  3. Decide what outcome you want.
  4. If you’ve confirmed that your spouse is cheating with an investigation, you will need to decide what course of action to take, whether you just want to talk about the issue or you want to take a more serious action like get a divorce.

    This can be difficult to do ahead of time, and in many cases you may want to change your mind. If you do decide to go through with a divorce, it is best to contact a divorce attorney ahead of time. The moment a spouse realizes they have been caught cheating and you want a divorce, they may begin to hide assets or take other actions against you personally. By consulting with a divorce attorney ahead of time in conjunction with evidence from our private investigation, you will be well prepared.

  5. Make sure any children you have will be far from the conversation.
  6. If you have children, they must be in a safe place. This means away from both you and your spouse, so they cannot hear an adult conversation they will not be able to understand. To assure their safety, they should be in a place far from your confrontation and looked after by an adult. For many reasons, they should in no way be a part of or near your confrontation with your cheating spouse.

  7. Select an appropriate time and place.
  8. You want to make sure that that the time is right. It should not be right before you or your spouse have an important appointment or any type of pressing engagement. More important than the time is selecting the place where the confrontation will take place. Never confront your spouse in private. There is less deterrence to a potentially angry reaction in private than public. However, you don’t want to select a place that is too public. Ideally, it is a place where there are just enough people that you can get assistance if needed. If you are worried about how your spouse might react, make sure at least one person knows where you will be and for how long.

  9. Confront your spouse calmly.
  10. Once you have reached this step, it is simply a matter of bringing your concerns to your spouse. Meet them at the time and place you decided on, bring any evidence you would like to use, and try to stay calm and collected during the confrontation even if they become emotional. Don’t forget the desired outcome that you planned in step 2, and make sure to act accordingly.

If you suspect your spouse of cheating, contact us for a consultation about your situation. We understand all of the signs of cheating, and once we hear the specifics of your situation, we will be able to explain the way we can approach a private investigation to determine whether your suspicions are correct.

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Bruce Robertson

Bruce Robertson is a private investigator and founder of Tristar Investigation, California’s premiere detective agency. Bruce is also a media commentator for the investigation industry, featured in the New York Times, CNN, History Channel, MSNBC, Los Angeles Times and many more. You can find him on Google+ LinkedIn and YouTube.